Friday, January 18, 2008
Mason's Birthday Request
A few days before Mason's 8th birthday, he says "Mom, I know what I want to do for my birthday." I say "yeah? what is that?" Mason says "Well, I'd like to go to North Carolina to this emerald mine." I say "why do you want to go there for your birthday?" Mason explained "you see it is very cool. I saw it on the discovery channel. How it works is you pay $15 to get in, you find an emerald and you come out with $15,000." Hmmm, note to self: Keep Mason away from casinos.
Thursday, January 10, 2008
A Receipt from Santa Claus
So a couple of days after Christmas Mason comes to me, sticks a piece of paper in my face and says "What's this?"...I look and it is a receipt from Amazon.com (one showing the order for "santa" gifts). I thought to myself "the santa gig is up"...
Me: It looks like a receipt
Mason: Yes, it says you ordered the gifts we got from Santa
Me: Does it? Are you sure?
Mason looks at it again and says: Hey, it looks like someone from Alan's family ordered these gifts. Who is Robert Vonderheide? What is Alan's dad's name?
(Side-note: When I'd ordered gifts from Amazon this year, the website had erroneously entered names from my account's address list into the "ordered by" field. I had called to get it corrected and they said it was only for reference, that it had been fixed and wouldn't cause a problem in the delivery, but that my receipts might still have those names show up. On this receipt, it had the name Robert Vonderheide (one of Alan's brothers) in that field.)
Me: Ron
Mason: What's his brother's name?
Me: Daniel
Mason: We have to email Alan and find out who Robert Vonderheide is.
So I emailed Alan a message, explaining that I was in trouble and needed his help. Alan wrote back:
Robert Vonderheide is the oldest living member of the Vonderheide family in existence. Today the world population is around 6,600,000,000. That is almost 7 Billion people. Back in the old days when there weren't as many people Santa and his elves had no problem making and delivering toys to everyone. As the population neared the 1 Billion mark Santa began to have trouble filling his orders and had to begin outsourcing. He accomplishes his task now by enlisting the oldest member of each family to fill the orders. These orders are placed through Amazon.com because Santa is secretly the Chairman of the board and largest stockholder for Amazon. That is how he is able to keep up with the ever growing population. This year I asked him to include your family with mine because I love your mom and we will eventually get married. Because Robert is so old (He is 104 years old I think) he probably forgot to make a note on his order to not send the receipts with the gifts. Usually kids are not supposed to know this until they are grown up and have kids of their own. I could get in a lot of trouble with Santa for telling you this so you need to keep it a secret.
Mason's Response after reading this?
Mason: Hmmm...well, I can't wait until I'm the oldest member of the family!
I guess the gig is still on for next year!
Me: It looks like a receipt
Mason: Yes, it says you ordered the gifts we got from Santa
Me: Does it? Are you sure?
Mason looks at it again and says: Hey, it looks like someone from Alan's family ordered these gifts. Who is Robert Vonderheide? What is Alan's dad's name?
(Side-note: When I'd ordered gifts from Amazon this year, the website had erroneously entered names from my account's address list into the "ordered by" field. I had called to get it corrected and they said it was only for reference, that it had been fixed and wouldn't cause a problem in the delivery, but that my receipts might still have those names show up. On this receipt, it had the name Robert Vonderheide (one of Alan's brothers) in that field.)
Me: Ron
Mason: What's his brother's name?
Me: Daniel
Mason: We have to email Alan and find out who Robert Vonderheide is.
So I emailed Alan a message, explaining that I was in trouble and needed his help. Alan wrote back:
Robert Vonderheide is the oldest living member of the Vonderheide family in existence. Today the world population is around 6,600,000,000. That is almost 7 Billion people. Back in the old days when there weren't as many people Santa and his elves had no problem making and delivering toys to everyone. As the population neared the 1 Billion mark Santa began to have trouble filling his orders and had to begin outsourcing. He accomplishes his task now by enlisting the oldest member of each family to fill the orders. These orders are placed through Amazon.com because Santa is secretly the Chairman of the board and largest stockholder for Amazon. That is how he is able to keep up with the ever growing population. This year I asked him to include your family with mine because I love your mom and we will eventually get married. Because Robert is so old (He is 104 years old I think) he probably forgot to make a note on his order to not send the receipts with the gifts. Usually kids are not supposed to know this until they are grown up and have kids of their own. I could get in a lot of trouble with Santa for telling you this so you need to keep it a secret.
Mason's Response after reading this?
Mason: Hmmm...well, I can't wait until I'm the oldest member of the family!
I guess the gig is still on for next year!
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